| abstract |
My interest in writing this dissertation was born from the loss of my late wife during the pandemic and my pastoral experience. While death and loss are universal, the day-to-day reality of racism, trans-generational trauma, poverty, unemployment, and an ongoing cycle of loss and sorrow renders Kubler-Ross's grief model inadequate in addressing the profound grief experienced by Black communities in America. My research delves into the intricate relationship between trauma, intersectionality, and the experiences of cisgender Black men, shedding light on how gender identity intersects and impacts the susceptibility to traumatic experiences. Dr. Bell Hooks, in The Will to Change Men, Masculinity, and Love states, "To indoctrinate boys into the rules of patriarchy, we force them to feel pain and to deny their feelings." A young boy learns from his youth not to cry. He is told throughout his childhood not to be honest about his emotions. "Learning to wear a mask (that word already embedded in the term "masculinity") is the first lesson in patriarchal masculinity that a boy learns. He learns that his core feelings cannot be expressed if they do not conform to the acceptable behaviors that sexism defines as male. Asked to give up the true self in order to realize the patriarchal ideal, boys learn self-betrayal early and are rewarded for these acts of soul murder." (Hooks, 2004) Soul murder in Black men takes place when a man does not own his emotions nor accept the pain that grief brings.
The term toxic masculinity is used to refer to an idea of "manliness" as patriarchal dominance, emotionlessness, and physical aggression. Toxic masculinity for Black men involves cultural pressures for men to behave in a way that represents strength. The adultification of boys into men as a response to absentee fathers or a trans-generational gendered response to trauma has handicapped Black men in grieving correctly if at all. With the appropriate approach, grieving experiences can present themselves as both a tragedy and a transformative event simultaneously in the lives of individuals who are grieving. This dissertation will explore culturally relevant models of grief recovery for Cisgender Heterosexual Black Christian men grieving from various losses, including the deaths of their spouses. More specifically, this dissertation will examine grief-informed models of ministry by identifying, devising, planning, and implementing unique ways for Black churches to promote serving widowers as a healing community in the twenty-first century, along with professional counseling support. The central research question is: What contributes to the resilience of cisgender Black men in their grief recovery? Henceforth, the research suggests educating, bringing healing to, enlightening, and establishing new coping techniques for cisgender Black men in grief recovery. The study hypothesizes that families, faith communities, and extended mental health communities contribute to the resolution of grief in Black men after the loss of a spouse and the prevention of complex grief that leads to negative outcomes and toxic coping mechanisms with life altering consequences.
|
